Twenty two days and counting. I'm freaking out a bit. In just three weeks I will vacate my amazing apartment in Paris and then travel for two weeks to yet undetermined locations before returning to San Francisco. To most people, five weeks of "vacation" would seem terrific. And it is terrific.
However, I've reached a turning point. Of course I would love to have the fun-filled care-free days continue. Yet, a natural shift is occuring inside my head. During the past couple of weeks I've been feeling more introspective. Thoughts of work, leaving Paris and the wonderful life that I am enjoying here, returning to San Francisco - all of these are creeping into my head. The battle commences. "Just let it go. Go with the flow." "It's time to start thinking about the next phase and what I'm going to do." "Just be in the moment. Enjoy." "This is a wonderful time to ponder my future. Take advantage of it. Let you mind wander and ponder the future."
The truth is that I am enjoying my time and my life in Paris. The reality is that it will come to an end. Sure, I have my own fantasies, and I've heard other people's suggestions, about prolonging this experience. But, in fact, falling in love or working in Paris would be a different experience and not the easy-going, one-day-at-a-time, do-whatever-I-want-when-I-want kind of adventure I'm having now.
The next phase is inescapable. And I've been very fortunate to have an opportunity to take a break, to relax, to absorb life and experience just being. For this, I am truly gratful. And, I realize that the next phase (which I think has already begun) is about re-balancing and re-aligning my life. Stagnation, as much as I am enjoying this amazing adventure, is not an option. Life, or maybe it is time, has a way of kicking us in the butt and moving us. So, it is with great appreciation that I look on my time in Paris, and it is with great anticipation that I look forward to the next phase. My goal is to chart a new course while being receptive to options that present themselves.
But in the meantime, I still have three weeks to absorb this amazing city and to have new experiences.
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2 comments:
Let that moussed hair down and have some fine French wine. Everything will be clear to you.
Would it be selfish of me to say that I can't wait for your return to San Francisco?! It's not the same without you. You'll be missed in New Orleans this weekend, too. I'll throw beads at all the straight boys for you!
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